How to Have Tough Conversations when There are Opposing Views
Let’s start this article about tough topics and communication with a real-life story. Back in the early 1900s, Aldi was known as a small family grocery store based in Germany. After Theodor and Karl Albrecht inherited the business when their father passed, they expanded it into a chain of hundreds of grocery stores all across the country. But the two brothers had something wedged between them; they had opposing business views that ultimately led to them splitting the brand into two, Aldi Sud and Aldi Nord.
Today, Aldi Nord owns Trader Joe’s, and Aldi Sud runs Aldis. Imagine if these two brothers were able to overcome their differences, have the tough conversations, and optimize inclusion in how they felt, what kind of market they could have capitalized on if they stuck it out together. You see, interpersonal conflicts are one of the killer points in why so many companies fail. It is super stressful, confusing, and downright uncomfortable, for everyone involved.
Learning from this, it’s important to realize that by being open to altering perspectives, conflict can actually make you, your business, and coworker relationships better. To not end up like the Albrecht brothers, it’s critical to understand how to have tough conversations with someone who thinks differently than you to maximize your shared interests.
Speak Directly with the Other Person Calmly
No matter who it is, always make it an appoint to speak directly to the person you have different views with. Don’t partake in any of that middle man stuff, as it can equate to more issues down the road. While doing this, pay attention to their body language and tone, and if they are hostile, try to guide them down a calmer path by being calm yourself. If you can be mindful of watching your own actions, you can reduce the likelihood of a heated confrontation forming.
Skip the Blame Game
Steer clear of blaming or pointing figures at someone if they think what they perceive is wrong. Skip the accusing, demeaning, and hostile rhetoric. Instead, soften it up a bit. Go into the conversation gently without critical remarks and no defense walls up. Make it an environment where both you and them feel like you can share your views without being attacked.
Listen!
When it is not your time to speak, make sure you are cautious about not interrupting the other person when they are stating their side. Pay attention to them, and even pinpoint specific parts of their views that you agree with, if any. Be fully present without distractions, and when called for, ask questions for clarity on their position if need be. This is a wonderful way to come to a mutual understanding and develop a win-win solution.
Be Solution-Focused
Having these tough topic conversations is not about winning or losing. It is about unearthing a perfect solution that appeals to both sides. So instead of going into it with a debate mindset, be solution-focused. Remember the value you have with the other person and explore new avenues that you both could agree on, one that meets the bottom line needs for everyone involved.
Conclusion – Communication Is Key
As a leader, you have probably heard a hundred and one times that communication is key, and the reality is that it is true. Communication and working through tough topics to find a happy medium is the best way you can keep moving forward in a positive, growing light. It will probably be hard to let your guard down and be more open-minded to what others have to say that counter your initial perspectives. But by being 100% honest, transparent, and laying it all out on the table is the best way you can get unstuck from an obstacle that could have dire consequences if pushed under the rug.
As a final note, never forget that differences and diversity are a good thing. And when you have those stress-inducing conversations, you might be surprised at how much better you and them will feel, and how that will reflect on your business as a whole.
